PM dissolves Nation

13/02/08

The Prime Minister of Malaysia today announced the dissolution of Parliament, and the rest of the nation with it, at a press conference in his Putrajaya office today.

Looking amused with himself behind his oak podium and speaking into a RM10,000 microphone, YBH Sir Datuk Tan Seri Tun Abdullah Badawi, OBE, stated that he wanted to "surprise" the people by initially denying the dissolution of Parliament on the 13th, his favourite number, and then changing his mind because he thought it would be "funny".

"You should have seen the look on your faces!" roared the Prime Minister, as he slapped his knees in obvious glee.

"Its not hard to dissolve Parliament", he went on to say, "JUST ADD WATER!" as recorded cheers and applause were heard coming from the direction of the Deputy Prime Minister, YBH Sir Datuk Tan Seri Tun Najib Razak, MBE.

"Oh Abby, you practical joker, you!" he choked. "Gets me every time!"

When pressed on their campaign strategy, the pair exchanged grins and began sniggering to themselves.

"Campaign strategy? Oh, we'll just do what we always do!" they said, before breaking out into uncontrollable laughter.

After regaining composure, the Prime Minister began answering questions on his projected campaign results.

"I project a victory! And so will the news agencies! However, we do expect some setbacks in certain areas. We have not gotten an efficient stranglehold, er, I mean representation on the Internet. Nevertheless, we are well "represented" in other media" he added with a sideways glance to Information Minister Zainudin Maidin, who nodded vigourously.

"We also have many things the opposition lack", he continued, "These include police, autonomous bodies, gangsters, phantom voters, supporters over 100 years old, newspaper licenses, plus budak Election Commission itu is my super-kawan!

"But don't worry. I don't influence him. ELECTIONS WILL BE FAIR! AND FREE! NO CHARGE!", he bellowed, to more applause.

Wrapping up the press conference, the Prime Minister said, "But do you know why we are going to win the election? Its for one simple reason."

"This reason is that Thaipusam is now a public holiday! MALAYSIANS LOVE HOLIDAYS!" he said, as he stepped down from the podium to a thunderous standing ovation.