Feeling A Moment

Shallow - Hurt

Josh got me started on this train of thought. There we were, outside my place having a conversation of 'nothings' when the rambles stumble upon books. Josh, in pondering stance, proposes how one's favourite book(s) would be reflective of their character; as the story in the book is told it begins to unravel itself in a tentatively sophistic way where the reader's own projections intertwine itself in the story. In a nutshell how it's plausible to read into one's character by having a look at the books that person reads, and how those same books are the texts that form one's identity (Arts students, there's a term here somewhere). Just like music.

That paragraph was full of puns

After indulging in a conversation of books I went upstairs to have an aesthetic staring session with my personal library which made me realise, due to the feigned trials and tribulations of university life the rate at which I read has severely decreased. Plenty to read but too many untouched. For whatever reason.

(Sleight of hand comments)

Bringing it back, Josh asked me what books I would consider to have in some way or another played a significant role in character development, or the ones that I relate to best. After groaning about how I could only pick one the obvious choice was obvious. Over here though, I'm going to indulge a bit. I also note how all these books were read many years ago through the ages of 14-17.

Before we start though:

"They remain slaves because they cannot see what is beautiful in this world."

-Muhammad Iqbal

1) The Catcher in The Rye - J.D Salinger

Easy first choice, one that sprang to mind immediately. I remember being given a photocopied copy from my literature teacher when I was 14; she told me how Holden reminded her of me and that I should have a good laugh reading it. I'm not what she meant by that at the time, it could have meant a multitude of things but after reading it I went out and got myself a personal copy because of how much I wish Holden was a friend of mine, if he wasn't a friend already or even whether I was him. As he has to millions of boys growing up, Holden Caulfield spoke to me on how it feels to be alive, and how it barely matters. The ultimate bildungsroman.

"The trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, no matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited."

I laugh hard re-reading that.

Sure it's a ubiquitous choice for a guy but at the end of the day just because it's relates to a thousand other lost and sorry souls on this earth doesn't discount the fact that it's something I hold on closely to. And that's all that matters anyways.

2) The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Sixteen, dreaming in colour, politically ripe and angst driven. The perfect companion to set the world on fire with. What was most intriguing about the book was Malcolm X's depth of character, how apart he was from the image painted of him of past and possibly present media. It's a tough book to describe, but it reminds me of a quote from Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine:

"A good song should make you want to tap your feet and get with your girl. A great song should destroy cop cars and set fire to the suburbs. I’m only interested in writing great songs."

Rethink your world.

3) Anthills of the Savannah by Chinua Achibe

My mum introduced me to this author years ago; she had read Things Fall Apart and I've since become a fan. After the debacle that was my 8 months A-Levels experience, a second shot at literature studying on my own (and without the misguided guidance of inept teachers, heh) gave me the luxury of picking my own books to study. Anthills of the Savannah is a book that's right up my alley: friendship and politics, one that is told with real majesty of the English language coupled with a mastery over emotion that had me staring at the book and wondering how the words of a stranger telling a fictional story managed to manipulate my feelings. But we all know that feeling, as well all know a book that succeeds in doing that to us. Anthills sits on the top shelf and one that I should definitely re-read more often. Democracy and dictatorship, like kaya and peanut butter.

4) The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho

Not one of my most favourite books of all time; in an era of hope long ago it was more resonant but now it has a tendency to be overwhelming in it's feel-goodness. The significance in the book however, lies in the how i was introduced to the book. Nadia, an awesome friend of mine whom I haven't seen or heard from in ages in fact, made mention of it many years ago suggesting I should read it and then go look for treasure. Enjoying the incessant flow of happiness and rainbows that book seems to possess, on her birthday I bought her a copy on top of the one she already owned as a thank you gesture because sometimes feeling shamelessly happy is something to be celebrated. Thinking about it now six years later in the isolation of my room with good tunes in my ears and illuminated by the light from my laptop, I think I finally get it.

5) The Motorcycle Diaries by Che Guevara

A book that will attack you with revolutionary fervour if you discard and disregard it. It's one of those books that can be read from a number of perspectives, in the context of it's author or in isolation of his fame. Either way his ability to describe his surroundings in the travel log are staggering, creating a real world that existed years ago in my head that I will never visit. His medical and social observations of the South American continent are heartfelt and emotional as the raw beauty of the physical world and the harsh reality of modern life shout out in opposition. If I read the book without knowing who Che was eventually going to be, my response would have been the same: this is a guy who is going to grow up and do awesome things.

"This is not a story of heroic feats, or merely the narrative of a cynic; at least I do not mean it to be. It is merely a glimpse of two lives running parallel for a time, with similar hopes and convergent dreams."

Childhood heroes will never die.

It should be mentioned as some kind of disclaimer that these books are not necessarily the best books I've read: Shantaram, A Farewell To Arms, The Outsider, Candide, The Godfather, A Man in The Dark and The New York Trilogy jump out and say "Hello!" when I think of great books. The ones that I mentioned here are those that I remember reading and having a profound impact on my character or something along those metaphysical lines. Again regretfully I have no been reading nearly as much as I want to, nor been reading the books that I feel I should read; my younger and more energetic days provided for many forays into the world of political treatises ranging from Edward Said (I now find it quite strange to have owned three of his titles before entering uni, here I lump blame on my mother), Fidel Castro (awesome reads all the same) and many other ancient political wannabes/philosophers. The fiction section of my library is slowly developing yet still in the works, something that I rue and a gap that I wish I had filled in between Roald Dahl and Jalaladin Rumi. Rue but alas, it's not like it was noneducational. Except for the philosophy phase, maybe.

And now to end with a quote.

"There's a truth deeper than experience. It's beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually, in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn't always help us to love the world, but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know that truth is to share it, from heart to heart"

From Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.

Your turn.